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As a single mother of Indian origin I find there are some unique challenges inherent in my new lifestyle. I started this group in the hopes of bringing together​. This is a group for Desi single parents from around the Greater Boston area to help each other move on in a positive direction in life. As individuals and as. Desi Single Parents Wie Lehrkräfte im Englischunterricht differenzieren. Eine Re-​Analyse der DESI-Videos. As a single mother of Indian origin I find there are. Kismet: A Desi Rhapsody in London | Darr, Shaheen | ISBN: The main character is Azra, a single mother with a daughter, Sumaiyah, and is. Leren flirten voor vrouwen, ich suche eine rumänische frau, single wohnung freising. tanzania frauen ab 40 flirten kostenlos inserieren haus verkaufen single parent dating sites canada. Indian desi chat sites israelische frau kennenlernen.

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Therefore, giving the pregnant woman very little or no choice. The shroud of secrecy around the decision of proceeding is often kept by the person and even by family members who know, forever.

She took it all out on me saying things like What about your life ahead of you? How stupid are you?

What were you thinking? I felt emotional and lost and a part of me questioned what I was doing but knew I had no choice when it came to family.

Based on the fear of uncontrollable family backlash, their personal safety and a lifetime of stigma, many single Desi women make the decision to have an abortion all by themselves.

Such a decision and responsibility can be huge for the person and means that most likely she has to live with this decision alone too.

She took the decision to have a termination as soon as she found out. Because all that would happen is someone would talk and my parents would find out.

There are those Desi women too for whom having an abortion more than once has even been the case. Hence, making the decision to or not terminate a pregnancy as a single Desi woman, can affect and impact one or many people.

If the decision is made to have an abortion it means it can have emotional side-effects which are often concealed because of a lack of support, the fear of telling anyone and purposely not wanting any medical attention to avoid it being put on record.

After having an abortion, living with the decision for a single Desi woman, may not be so different from any other woman who has gone through the procedure.

However, issues like fear related to Desi culture, family and personal safety can be very different. Therefore, keeping the abortion secret is usually the most common way of dealing with it.

It can be akin to those of an unplanned pregnancy loss. Thus, for many women who have an abortion, there can be a residue of emotions and feelings that manifest from making the decision to terminate the pregnancy.

These can include calm, relief, happiness, sadness, grief, loss, and regret. According to the American Pregnancy Association , common negative feelings after having an abortion include guilt, anger, shame, remorse, loss of self-esteem, feelings of isolation and loneliness, sleep problems, bad dreams, relationship problems and even thoughts of suicide.

It can also be a trigger for mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, which can even arise from still questioning if it was the right thing to do or not.

Many women find it hard to bring an abortion into the narrative of their life. US therapist Trudy Johnson, who herself had an abortion at college and has written about abortion aftercare.

From her perspective the experience is:. Therefore, highlighting that for many single Desi women this experience will be most likely the same but with the added pressure of life within South Asian culture.

Hence, making it much more difficult to openly talk about an abortion. They made me feel very dirty and beneath them.

I tried to cope and put it behind me but for months it kept on affecting my daily life. My boyfriend came with me and I was out of the clinic shortly after.

It was behind me. I began to feel very sad. For some Desi women, the thought does not always go away, despite having children and families.

It makes me feel many things including anger, shame, guilt and remorse. While there are some women who still recollect having an abortion and find the decision still difficult to live with, a landmark study by the University of California, San Francisco, found that after five years the majority of women studied still felt it was the right decision.

A week after seeking care the women were surveyed and then every six months, 11 times in total. Making stigma a major issue irrespective of background.

However, if the women were from a South Asian background being studied it would be interesting to see what this measure would be.

I never really think about it apart from seeing it as an episode in my life. Being a Desi woman, single and in need of an abortion has many implications and depends on the individual and her circumstances.

From finding out you are pregnant, to making the decision to go ahead with a termination and then living with having gone through the procedure can affect women in different ways as we have discovered.

Especially, when it comes to family and the community. Post-abortion support is also something that many Desi women who might need it, do not take up, due to the major factor of secrecy.

Hence, there could be many Desi women who may even still be vulnerable currently, living with the burden of making the decision. Whether a Desi single woman opts for an abortion or not, it will still be seen as the way to keep her life intact.

Because otherwise unless her family are very understanding; it is inevitable she will suffer the Desi wrath of the unacceptance of getting pregnant out of wedlock.

View Results. Being Desi, Single and Needing an Abortion Falling pregnant unexpectedly can be very traumatic for a Desi woman, especially if she is single, and needs to have an abortion.

Especially by families. But everyone would be told she was working away by her family due to the shame.

We never saw her at family functions. Being a Desi single parent whether out of choice or a forced situation despite the negative judgement tends to make people stronger.

Most single parents respond positively to their new responsibility and make the most out of the challenging test of life.

Bringing them up with their mother only wanting to see them when she wants is tough. I have to play both roles, which can be emotionally difficult at times.

But I do my best. But after having three years of domestic violence and abuse. I left with my daughter aged 3. I never dreamt I would ever be a single parent.

But I am one and proud to bring my daughter up whilst working in a job I love. Providing for children is a key challenge for single parents.

With children wanting the latest phones, trainers or jeans, single parents do have to work very hard whilst also getting some benefit support.

I had sleepless nights wondering how I would cope. But then I pushed myself to go to college. I did a beauty course and then started my own beauty business for Asian women.

I still get older people trying to put me down because I did it on my own without a man. There is also a lot of pressure from Desi society to re-marry, especially, if the single parent is young.

I immediately started getting family members and aunties telling me I was still young and should have another arranged marriage. But why would I put myself through the same thing as I just escaped from?

If I decide to re-marry it will be my way or no way. Desi society will never easily adapt to change due to the intertwines of culture, tradition and values established in its homelands.

Single parenting is one such change that perhaps Desi society was not ready for. But it is a reality today and a growing one.

So, before judging single Desi parents it is important to appreciate the challenges they face, and would not doing something to support them be far more important than bad mouthing them?

Since they too are part of Desi society now. View Results. By Priya Chandra. But today, this dream is shattered with the rise in separations and divorce within Desi society.

The Issue of Incest in Asian Society. Is being Gay acceptable in British Asian society? Priya Chandra. Priya adores anything to do with cultural change and social psychology.

She loves to read and listen to chilled music to relax.

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I felt so alone. So, I felt compelled to tell him, which I did. He was shocked but quickly became the only person around me to help.

For some single Desi women, the decision to have a termination can be a very difficult one. Deciding to keep a baby or not has huge implications for the woman both from a cultural and personal perspective.

Keeping the baby means a dramatic change in life for a Desi woman if her parents are in no way understanding or supportive.

So, under these circumstances to keep the baby does mean in most cases being cut-off from family and losing ties with loved ones.

My father was simply too disappointed to even talk about it. They told me to terminate. Something again my family was totally against apart from my brother, who told me to live my life.

Therefore, giving the pregnant woman very little or no choice. The shroud of secrecy around the decision of proceeding is often kept by the person and even by family members who know, forever.

She took it all out on me saying things like What about your life ahead of you? How stupid are you? What were you thinking?

I felt emotional and lost and a part of me questioned what I was doing but knew I had no choice when it came to family. Based on the fear of uncontrollable family backlash, their personal safety and a lifetime of stigma, many single Desi women make the decision to have an abortion all by themselves.

Such a decision and responsibility can be huge for the person and means that most likely she has to live with this decision alone too. She took the decision to have a termination as soon as she found out.

Because all that would happen is someone would talk and my parents would find out. There are those Desi women too for whom having an abortion more than once has even been the case.

Hence, making the decision to or not terminate a pregnancy as a single Desi woman, can affect and impact one or many people. If the decision is made to have an abortion it means it can have emotional side-effects which are often concealed because of a lack of support, the fear of telling anyone and purposely not wanting any medical attention to avoid it being put on record.

After having an abortion, living with the decision for a single Desi woman, may not be so different from any other woman who has gone through the procedure.

However, issues like fear related to Desi culture, family and personal safety can be very different. Therefore, keeping the abortion secret is usually the most common way of dealing with it.

It can be akin to those of an unplanned pregnancy loss. Thus, for many women who have an abortion, there can be a residue of emotions and feelings that manifest from making the decision to terminate the pregnancy.

These can include calm, relief, happiness, sadness, grief, loss, and regret. According to the American Pregnancy Association , common negative feelings after having an abortion include guilt, anger, shame, remorse, loss of self-esteem, feelings of isolation and loneliness, sleep problems, bad dreams, relationship problems and even thoughts of suicide.

It can also be a trigger for mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, which can even arise from still questioning if it was the right thing to do or not.

Many women find it hard to bring an abortion into the narrative of their life. US therapist Trudy Johnson, who herself had an abortion at college and has written about abortion aftercare.

From her perspective the experience is:. Therefore, highlighting that for many single Desi women this experience will be most likely the same but with the added pressure of life within South Asian culture.

Hence, making it much more difficult to openly talk about an abortion. They made me feel very dirty and beneath them. I tried to cope and put it behind me but for months it kept on affecting my daily life.

My boyfriend came with me and I was out of the clinic shortly after. It was behind me. I began to feel very sad. For some Desi women, the thought does not always go away, despite having children and families.

It makes me feel many things including anger, shame, guilt and remorse. While there are some women who still recollect having an abortion and find the decision still difficult to live with, a landmark study by the University of California, San Francisco, found that after five years the majority of women studied still felt it was the right decision.

A week after seeking care the women were surveyed and then every six months, 11 times in total. Making stigma a major issue irrespective of background.

However, if the women were from a South Asian background being studied it would be interesting to see what this measure would be.

The rise in single parents, once observed in other communities, is now a reality within Desi communities.

Being a single parent is no easy challenge, and being one from a Desi background, does not come without negative judgment and social stigma.

In Desi society, anything going wrong for a person attracts more attention than success. So, for a marriage break-up where one parent, frequently, the woman, ends up alone with the children, her status of single parent immediately attracts attention.

Usually, of the negative kind. Purposely I stayed away from family functions and events for a few months.

Eventually I went to a wedding and I felt the looks I got and questions asked by aunties, made me feel my divorce was all my fault.

Despite my ex having an affair to destroy our marriage. For men, the reaction does not seem to be as harsh and in fact supportive.

Implying that negativity tends to be more towards the woman. And the support I got to help me through this tough time was huge from family, friends and relatives.

A lot of them really felt for me. After a bad arranged marriage, my ex-wife left the country. I can say I do get questions and looks at times, but on the whole everyone is very positive towards us.

I do not think it is easy for any Asian single parent, mother or father. There are also cases where there are single Desi parents with children and not married.

Something which could potentially grow as society move towards living together relationships. After a year, a man I met moved in with me.

Subsequently, I fell pregnant and had a son. I then found out my partner cheated on me and made him leave. The reaction from close family and relatives resulted in them judging me as a bad person because I had a child and did not re-marry.

They all stopped talking to me. I was left alone to bring up my son. She ran-away from home because she could not deal with the shame and judgement of her.

She now lives in a different city with her baby daughter and very little communication with her family. These kind of cases are known to Desi society, but are quickly suppressed and hidden.

Especially by families. But everyone would be told she was working away by her family due to the shame. We never saw her at family functions.

Being a Desi single parent whether out of choice or a forced situation despite the negative judgement tends to make people stronger.

Most single parents respond positively to their new responsibility and make the most out of the challenging test of life. Bringing them up with their mother only wanting to see them when she wants is tough.

I have to play both roles, which can be emotionally difficult at times. But I do my best. But after having three years of domestic violence and abuse.

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